How to Train Your Child to Make Good Decisions

From the moment our children take their first steps away from us, we start worrying: Will they be ready for the big, scary world on their own one day?

And I’m not just talking about when they graduate high school. Long before that, they begin spending more time away from us—at school, with friends, or online—and they’re exposed to countless opportunities to make decisions that could change the course of their lives.

As parents, it’s our job to guide and prepare them for these critical moments. But ask yourself: Have I done everything I can to teach my child how to make good choices—the kind of make-or-break decisions that will shape their future?

Today I’m sharing three powerful strategies you can use to help your child become a confident decision-maker. You’re going to love the third one—it’s my personal favorite. Let’s dive in!

1. Social Skills Training

Kids aren’t born knowing the “right” things to say or do in every situation. They need us to show them.

• Talk it through. When a situation arises, help your child reflect. What happened? What could they have done differently?

• Teach empathy. Walk them through how their words and actions might impact others.

• Practice makes progress. Remember, cognitive development is a process—your child won’t get it right every time, but consistent guidance makes a difference.

2. If-Then Consequences

Loving boundaries are one of the most valuable tools you can give your child.

• Be the loving authority. Present two good options that reinforce positive behavior while leaving room for independence.

• Example: “If you finish your homework now, you’ll have extra time to play later. If you don’t, we’ll need to spend that time catching up.”

• Over time, this framework teaches them to weigh options and consider outcomes—a foundational skill for decision-making.

3. The Good Choices Talk

Now, here’s where it gets fun—and powerful. The Good Choices Talk is all about preparing your child for real-life situations they may face.

Think of it as a practice run for tricky decisions they might encounter in the future. Here’s how it works:

• Talk through scenarios. Pick real-life examples or news stories and discuss the potential outcomes of good vs. bad choices.

  • Example: A news story about someone pointing a laser at an airplane, a federal crime with fines up to $11,000. Or a heartbreaking story of a child lighting themselves on fire in a dangerous stunt.

• Focus on age-appropriate lessons. For younger kids, keep it simple. As they get older, tackle more complex topics like peer pressure, bullying, or drugs.

And here’s the key: Make it a regular conversation.

• Set a reminder to revisit the Good Choices Talk every few months (or more often if your kids are younger).

• Tie the lessons to everyday behavior. For example: “Is leaving your laundry on the floor a good choice or a bad choice?”

• Be ready for eye-rolls or sarcasm as they grow—it’s part of the process!

Pro Tip: Let your child guide the depth of the conversation. When they ask questions, answer honestly but at their level of understanding. It’s okay to pause and say, “We’ll talk more about that another day.”

Keep up the good work on your amazing parenting journey!