How to Teach TRUE Gratitude This Holiday Season
Does your child personally thank every person who gives them a gift on their birthday or at the holidays? No judgment here if the answer is no - I always come to you with empathy and practical strategies to support you on your parenting journey. In this post, I’ll touch on why it’s important for your children to thank gift-givers, how this relates to their development of gratitude, and some simple tips to make thank-yous easier to fit into your family’s busy holiday schedule.
First of all, let’s just put it out there that it feels crummy to give a gift and never have it acknowledged by the recipient. I have a family member (I won’t mention which one) who almost never acknowledges gifts. For years and years, I’ve sent thoughtful holiday gifts to them and their children, and I can’t count on my hand the number of times there’s been a follow-up of any sort. So, does that mean they never received the gift? Does that mean they hated it so much they can’t even bear to talk about it? Nobody knows if it’s never mentioned. And that, my friends, is the first reason it’s important to teach your children to acknowledge the gifts they receive. This is a principle concept in communication overall - acknowledging receipt - whether it’s a birthday gift or an email you’ve been waiting on that finally arrived; a simple reply confirms receipt and helps others to rest assured that the item was successfully delivered.
You may be thinking, yeah, but what if the gift was awful and they hated it? It still deserves acknowledgment. The gift-giver took the time to think about your child on their special day, took the time to purchase or make a gift, and went to the trouble of having it delivered. Sure, maybe the gift they received is one they really don’t like or will never use - maybe Grandma got them mixed up with their younger sibling, but it’s still important to acknowledge every gift received. This is a key component of developing gratitude.
Gratitude consists of two major components - being grateful for the things that we already have and being grateful for the things that come into our lives. So maybe that sweater is an awful color, but your child can thank Grandma for thinking of them. Perhaps the scooter is too small, but your child can thank them for a very considerate gift. There are always things to be grateful for when receiving gifts, even when the item itself is not one that was actually wanted.
By taking the time to appreciate the thought behind the gift, the effort in obtaining the gift and delivering the gift, and the wonderful nature of having people in your child’s life who care enough to give us gifts, you’re helping them to develop gratitude, which is a hugely beneficial emotion that will serve them well throughout their lives. People with a gratitude practice (mindfully expressing their gratitude on a regular basis) are happier and report a greater overall sense of well-being.
Integrating a gratitude practice in your child’s life doesn’t have to be a time-consuming endeavor; it could be a quick check-in at the dinner table about something that is going well for them and that they are thankful for. It could be once a week on Thankful Thursday. We have a ritual we enjoy in our family called Rose, Bud, Thorn, where we go around the table and mention something that went very well today, something promising on the horizon, and something that was challenging that day - although I prefer to swap the order around and do Thorn, Bud, Rose so we end on a high note.
We’ll move on to practical strategies to make integrating a gift-receipt thank-you practice into your child’s life, but first, if you’re thinking, “Geez, I’m already overwhelmed by holiday stress,” I want to mention that I have a free download called 5 Tips to Thrive as a Family at the Holidays! You can download your copy at drlindsayemmerson.com/holiday.
We need to find ways to help our kids understand that gratitude is about more than just getting what they want. It's about appreciating the people and things in their lives, and showing their appreciation in meaningful ways. And that's where thank-you calls and cards come in.
When we express our gratitude through a heartfelt call or a handwritten card, it shows that we're willing to take the time to think about the other person and how they've made a difference in our lives. It's not just about saying thank you - it's about showing that we care and appreciate their efforts.
Have you ever received a thank you call or a thank you card and felt uplifted by the experience? It can really be a joyous experience. It's amazing how something so small can have such a profound impact on our relationships and our moods.
I'd love to hear from you in the comments - have you had any experiences with thank-you calls or cards that have made a significant impact on your life or relationships?
The impact of receiving a thank you call or card can be huge. It can brighten someone's day, strengthen relationships, and even change someone's outlook on life. And as parents, I believe it's our job to teach our kids the importance of expressing gratitude in this way. By teaching our kids to make thank-you calls and write thank-you cards, we're giving them a powerful tool to build stronger relationships and spread joy to those around them.
We can make the holiday thank you process easy for our kids (and for us) in several ways:
Most importantly, remember that adorable homemade cards with spelling errors are the very best! So don’t stress over making this a school lesson.
You can help out by addressing the envelope and putting a stamp on the card until your child is older.
Teach them a simple thank you card format:
Dear ______,
I love the ______ you gave me. I will use it to ______.
With love, ______
Short and sweet is great!
It’s fine for siblings to work on a thank you card together for friends or family members who gave them both gifts or a joint gift. Perhaps one child prefers to draw while another is more comfortable writing thank you.
You can even reuse recent artwork so they don’t have to start from scratch.
If preparing thank you cards is a struggle, opt for a phone call instead. Texts are an option, too, but they’re not as meaningful. Briefly run through the phone call in advance so your child is prepared to thank the person for the right gift.
Pro tip: Prep the cards or make the calls soon after the holiday so it doesn’t start to feel like a chore dragging on and on. I put a little reminder in my phone calendar every December 26 and get them crossed off our To-Do list fast while gifts received are still fresh in our minds.
I hope this post empowers you to add a gratitude practice to your family’s holiday traditions this year. Use the tips above to make it a meaningful but also manageable addition to the holiday season. Keep up the good work on your amazing parenting journey!
P.S. To transition from “survive” to “thrive” mode this holiday season, download your copy of my free guide to thrive at the holidays as a family at drlindsayemmerson.com/holiday 🎄
