6 Tips To Fill Christmas Morning With Joy (Not Disappointment)

Christmas morning with kids is supposed to be filled with wonder and joy, right?  Have you ever had materialism and disappointment ruin the holiday?  In this post, I’m going to cover how to use holiday wishlists effectively to help ensure Christmas morning is a fabulous experience for all.

Do you remember getting a gift from Great Aunt Mertyl on Christmas morning when you were a kid and being fascinated by how she came to select that item for you?  Perhaps it was a sweater in a color you would never, ever wear, or perhaps it was a doll that would appeal to a much younger child.  And yet, there was still something neat about the experience because she thought of you and made an effort to get or make your gift, wrap it, and deliver it to you.  Holiday wishlists definitely have some benefits, which I’ll run through momentarily, but they have the potential to take the surprise element out of holidays, making the celebration less exciting.

Holiday wishlists also have the potential to make the holidays feel like a monetary exchange of sorts, emphasizing our materialistic culture.  The greatest risk of using holiday wishlists is the risk they pose of leaving your child supremely disappointed on Christmas morning when the gift they requested is not waiting for them under the tree.

Now, holiday wishlists are not all bad, of course.  There are certainly benefits to using them.  It’s nice to give your child (or anyone for that matter) a gift that you know they’ll love, and having them guide your gift-giving helps make that possible.  As your child gets older and develops more of a sense of self and independence, having them create a holiday wishlist gives them a sense of autonomy; they may not have the funds to run out and purchase the items they want, but the wishlist provides an avenue for making their wishes be known.

Holiday wishlists are also incredibly useful for relatives who contact you asking for gift ideas.  When you have your children create their holiday wishlists well in advance, you’ll be ready for the barrage of grandparent requests.

So, how do we resolve the issue of whether to use holiday wishlists if our goal is to have a stress-free Christmas morning filled with family bonding rather than managing your child’s disappointment?  I’m going to keep this simple and offer six prime tips derived from my own experience over the years as a mother of four.

First, always refer to the wishlist as exactly that - a list of things you wish to get but with absolutely no guarantee that any of those items will show up under the tree.  You may add that sometimes gifts show up in future years, or sometimes we get gifts that are even better that we don’t even know about, but the most important part of Christmas is spending time together as a family - not the gifts received.

Second, include far more items on the list than your child will possibly receive.  This allows for a) a much higher likelihood that they’ll actually receive at least a couple of those gifts and b) avoids extreme disappointment when they have their hearts set on one gift and don’t receive it.

Third, honestly discuss the likelihood of your child receiving each gift.  For example, if they put a horse on their wishlist, gently comment that they can certainly put whatever they would like on their wishlist and remind them to keep in mind that some requests are more likely to happen than others.  Santa, Grandma, etc., will do what they can to select the most appropriate gift.

Tip #4 is coming up next, but first, I wanted to let you know if holiday stress has been putting a damper on your joy this season, I’ve got a free download for you called 5 Tips to Thrive as a Family at the Holidays!  You can download your copy at drlindsayemmerson.com/holiday.

Fourth, you might consider having certain family members always do a surprise gift to keep that good old tradition alive.  This maintains that lovely surprise element.

Fifth, as soon as their wishlist is complete, shift gears entirely and focus on what you’re going to do for other people for Christmas - whether it’s selecting gifts, making homemade goodies, or sending them a heartfelt message.  This step helps to balance the materialistic focus of holidays that involve gift-receiving with the far more beneficial focus on gift-giving and being generous toward others.

Sixth, whenever your child mentions items from their wishlist, do your best to remind them of the tips discussed above (e.g., “You may get that or you may not” and “That was a pretty big item to wish for, so we’ll see what happens”) and try to shift the focus to one of gratitude for the things they already have.  Expressing gratitude is a valuable method for improving overall well-being.  Practicing gratitude can also help shift your focus away from stress and towards the things that truly matter.  Help your child take a moment to reflect on what they’re thankful for, and watch your entire perspective change.

One final parting word of advice: I hope these tips help you to effectively manage expectations so your child has a wonderful Christmas morning.  Just remember that we parents can enjoy holidays far more if we manage our own expectations as well.  If we go in thinking of Christmas as another day as a parent (with the usual amount of whining, bickering, and meltdowns), then we can truly enjoy the magical moments that the special day brings.  Christmas morning is not about creating some Instagram-worthy fantasy - it's about being present with the people you love and making memories that will last a lifetime.  So, take the pressure off, relax, and let the magic unfold.  Keep up the good work on your amazing parenting journey!

P.S. To transition from “survive” to “thrive” mode this holiday season, download your copy of my free guide to thrive at the holidays as a family at drlindsayemmerson.com/holiday 🎄