Keep Your Cool: Parent's Guide to Tough Moments

Your child can be adorable, innocent, and sweet—but also infuriating, provoking, and downright rude. When you’re caregiving day in and day out, there are bound to be moments where you're struggling to keep your cool.

So how can you stop yourself from yelling or snapping in those heated moments?

In psychology, there’s a powerful set of tools called coping skills. These tools can help you manage your emotions and respond calmly—even in the most frustrating parenting situations. Today, I’m going to share three simple but powerful coping skills that parents in my coaching program say help them the most when their child is pushing their buttons.

Why Coping Skills Matter in Parenting

Coping skills help you stay grounded and respond with intention—rather than reacting with regret. If you want to feel more in control of your day, more confident in your reactions, and more like the calm, positive parent you strive to be—you’re in the right place.

1. Start a Gratitude Practice

The first coping skill I recommend to parents is starting a gratitude practice.

Now, I get it—this might sound a little cheesy at first. Maybe you’ve heard about writing in a gratitude journal and thought, “That’s not for me.” But there are many ways to bring gratitude into your daily routine, and you might be surprised at just how much it can improve your mood, your energy, and even your parenting.

Research shows that gratitude is linked to higher life satisfaction for both kids and adults. People who regularly practice gratitude are more helpful, forgiving, empathetic, and supportive—basically, all the qualities that make a great parent.

And yes, even in the chaos of parenting, there are things to be grateful for:

• My child is healthy.

• My child is assertive (which will serve them later!).

• My child has great lungs :)

Gratitude helps shift your perspective and gives you energy for self-improvement. Whether you write your thoughts down, share them with a friend, or say them quietly in your head, making gratitude a habit can have a profound impact on your parenting experience.

2. Use a Motivational Mantra

The second coping skill is a motivational mantra.

Mantras might sound fancy, but really, they’re just simple phrases you repeat to yourself during tough moments. You can say them out loud or in your head—whatever works for you.

Here are a few examples:

• “You’ve got this.”

• “This is a tough moment, but it will pass.”

• “You’re a good parent, you’ve got a good child, and gosh darn it, we’re going to get through this together.”

Mantras can help you slow down, reframe your thoughts, and respond with patience. My personal favorite mantra?
“Respond rather than react.”
That’s the heart of intentional parenting.

Try out a few mantras this week and see which one helps you stay grounded. And if you find one that works especially well, I’d love to hear about it—drop it in the comments!

3. Pretend You’re Being Watched

Here’s a fascinating psychological trick that can change your parenting in a surprising way.

Studies show people are more likely to engage in kind, prosocial behavior when they feel they’re being watched—even if it’s just an image of eyes. This can absolutely apply to parenting.

Think about how you act toward your kids at a playdate or in public vs. how you act at home when no one’s around. No judgment here—we’ve all been there! But when you pretend you’re being observed, it can help you rise to the version of yourself you want to be.

Next time you're about to lose it, imagine someone’s watching. Imagine you're at the park or your child’s teacher is sitting nearby. This little mental shift can help you stay calm and act with intention. (If it helps, you can even tape up a picture of eyes in your kitchen!)

This one trick has saved me on many of my toughest parenting days with my four kids, and I hope it helps you too.

Final Thoughts

Now you’ve got three powerful coping tools to carry with you into your most challenging parenting moments:

• Practice gratitude to shift your mindset.

• Use a mantra to ground yourself.

• Pretend you’re being watched to keep your behavior aligned with your parenting values.

Try just one of these this week, and notice how it changes your reactions and your connection with your child. Parenting is hard, but with the right tools, you can feel more confident, more patient, and more like the parent you want to be.