How to Get Your Child to Help With Chores | The Montessori Miracle
Have you ever scrolled past a Montessori mom’s social media post showing their toddler loading the dishwasher and felt a surge of envy? How do they get their kids to help out so willingly?
Today, I’m revealing their secrets—how Montessori moms inspire cooperation, what chores are actually appropriate at each age, and why chores aren’t just helpful for you—they’re crucial for your child’s development.
The Developmental Benefits of Chores
That’s right—getting your children involved in household chores isn't just about lightening your load. It’s actually essential to their healthy development and long-term success.
A well-known Harvard study found that kids who regularly do chores grow up to have:
Higher self-esteem
Better work habits
Greater happiness
Stronger relationships
Montessori founder Maria Montessori noticed that children naturally want to participate in meaningful work. The foundation for a child’s lifelong relationship with responsibility starts early—and chores are one of the best ways to nurture that.
Chores also support your child’s development in ways you might not expect:
They build a sense of belonging and contribution
They develop both fine and gross motor skills
They foster self-reliance and independence
They strengthen problem-solving abilities
While it may feel faster to just do things yourself, involving your child in chores is a long-term investment that frees up your time down the road. Even better? Parents who start early report less resistance as their kids get older.
And here’s something to remember: if you’re worried chores take away from “being a kid,” the opposite is true. Kids feel more capable and confident when they’re contributing in meaningful ways.
The Montessori Approach to Chores
The Montessori method offers a practical, respectful way to introduce children to chores—without power struggles or constant reminders. It’s about working with your child, not just assigning tasks.
Here are 12 powerful shifts you can make to encourage cooperation and build lifelong habits:
Work alongside your child – Make chores a team effort.
Demonstrate tasks step-by-step – What feels automatic to you is new to them.
Break down complex chores – Make each step manageable and clear.
Use positive language – Say, “Let’s care for our home,” instead of “Do your chores.”
Accept imperfection – Focus on effort and progress, not perfection.
Use child-sized tools – When appropriate, offer tools they can manage easily.
Be patient – Mastery takes time.
Make chores fun – Add music, games, or challenges to keep things light.
Match chores to interests – Let kids feed pets, water plants, or help in the kitchen based on what excites them.
Never use chores as punishment – This creates negative associations.
Divide chores among siblings – Use simple charts or rotating schedules to promote fairness.
Keep a positive attitude – Your tone sets the vibe. If you dread it, they will too.
The Montessori approach focuses on process over perfection and builds intrinsic motivation—a sense of pride in contributing, rather than relying on bribes or punishments.
Age-Appropriate Chores for Kids
One of the most common questions I get is: “What chores can my child actually handle?”
Here’s a breakdown by age group to help you set realistic, age-appropriate expectations:
Ages 2–3: Eager Helpers
Putting toys in a bin
Placing dirty clothes in the hamper
Helping feed pets (with supervision)
Wiping up small spills
Setting napkins on the table
Washing fruits and veggies
Ages 4–5: Little Contributors
Setting the table
Helping make their bed
Watering plants
Sorting laundry by color
Putting away their clean clothes
Simple meal prep with supervision
Ages 6–8: Growing Independence
Sweeping floors
Making their bed independently
Taking out small trash bags
Loading the dishwasher
Starting their own laundry
Folding and organizing clean clothes
Preparing basic meals on their own
Ages 9–12: Capable and Confident
Vacuuming
Washing dishes
Cooking full meals with guidance
Cleaning bathrooms
Taking care of pets independently
Managing their laundry from start to finish
Teens: Real-World Readiness
Deep cleaning tasks
Grocery shopping and meal planning
Cooking for the family
Yard work and outdoor maintenance
Learning basic home maintenance skills
Matching chores to your child’s developmental level builds their confidence—and gradually teaches them how to manage a home of their own one day.
Let's Make It Practical
What’s one small chore you could invite your child to participate in this week? Share your plan in the comments—I’d love to hear how it goes!
And if this post helped you feel more confident about managing chores in your family, you’ll love my next video, where I walk you through the 5 steps you need to become a confident parent.
