It took me 30 years to realize what I’ll tell you in 10 minutes…

What if I told you that the things your brain has tricked you into believing you need to be happy—like professional success, wealth, a dream home, or movie-star beauty—aren’t actually what you need?

I’ve spent 30 years figuring this out, and in the next 10 minutes, I’m going to save you decades of time, missed opportunities, and unnecessary suffering.

We chase tangible goals:
✔️ The dream job
✔️ The huge bank account
✔️ The magnificent home
✔️ Looking like a million bucks

But these aren’t the real key to happiness.

Society, media, and culture condition us to believe that these are the markers of success. Our brains learn this quickly and remind us daily.

But true success isn’t about external achievements—it’s about having a life filled with happiness and meaning.

And the secret to achieving that?

There are three essential people you need in your life.

1. A True Best Friend

Having a best friend—someone whose happiness you care about as much as your own—is priceless.

You could have a hundred acquaintances, but sharing your life’s highs and lows with that one special friend feels a thousand times better than sharing it on social media.

Why This Relationship Matters:

🔹 Provides unwavering support
🔹 Strengthens resilience during tough times
🔹 Enhances life’s best moments

If possible, find this person early—there’s nothing quite like journeying through different life stages together.

My Story:
When I left for college, I didn’t know if my childhood friendships would last. But I stayed in touch with the sweet girl who introduced herself to me on my first day in a new town at age 12. Thirty-three years later, she’s still my best friend.

How to Keep This Connection Strong:
✅ Call them at least once a week—set an alarm if needed!
✅ If they live nearby, meet up regularly.
✅ If far away, travel to see each other a few times a year.

This relationship is a source of meaning, inner strength, and happiness.

I’m eternally grateful to my best friend, and I tell her that all the time. In fact, I’m sending her this video as soon as it’s posted.

Who’s your best friend? Tag them and tell them how much they mean to you!

2. A Life Partner

A loving, supportive life partner is one of the most powerful relationships you can have. But choosing the right person takes time and thought.

Before Committing, Make Sure You:

✔️ Really get to know them—ideally by living together, traveling together, and navigating challenges together.
✔️ Align on core values, beliefs, and life goals.
✔️ Discuss major decisions—children, family traditions, lifestyle choices, financial habits, etc.
✔️ Identify potential deal-breakers (for me, growing up with two smokers was tough, so that was a non-negotiable).

Take your time. When I was younger, I felt pressure to speed up the process because "everyone else was getting married." But in hindsight, I realize how valuable that time was.

💡 Pro Tip:
Once in a serious relationship, do a 6-month check-in with yourself:
1. Can I see myself with this person forever?
2. Do they feel the same way?

If the answer is no, it’s time to move on. But once you find the right person—cherish them.

A life partner who is your best friend, who supports you through life’s challenges, and who helps you grow as a person is a rare and beautiful gift.

3. A Parent Who Loves & Supports You

The third person who guarantees a life filled with happiness and meaning is a parent who:
✔️ Loves and supports you
✔️ Guides you to be your best self
✔️ Ultimately becomes one of your closest confidants and trusted advisors

If you’ve had this, you know how life-changing it is. If you haven’t, don’t worry—I’ll address that in a moment.

My Story:

Three years ago, I lost my dad to skin cancer. It left a gaping hole in my heart.

I recently heard a quote from Virgin River:
🖤 “Grief doesn’t ever get lighter; we just get used to carrying the weight.”

Having my father’s love and support profoundly shaped my sense of self, security, and belief in what I could achieve in life.

But it took me far too long to appreciate this and to develop empathy for those who never had that experience with a parent.

If You Didn’t Have a Supportive Parent:
You can’t change the past, but you can do right by your own children—or by any child in your life.

Whether you’re a parent, an aunt, uncle, mentor, or neighbor, you have the power to be that supportive figure for someone else.

How to Give This Gift to the Next Generation

You may have heard of unconditional love, but I believe in something even stronger:

Unconditional Positive Regard.

This concept—borrowed from psychologist Carl Rogers—applies beautifully to parenting.

It means:
✔️ Loving your child no matter what
✔️ Separating their actions from their worth
✔️ Correcting behavior without judgment
✔️ Guiding them with constant support

This approach raises confident, kind, and resilient kids.

If this resonates with you, subscribe to my channel—I share parenting strategies to help you raise amazing kids with confidence.

And remember:
1. You don’t need to be a parent to change a child’s life.
2. Volunteering, mentoring, or simply showing up can make all the difference.

Psychologist Erik Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development suggests that in midlife, we either enter a state of Generativity (giving back) or Stagnation (feeling unfulfilled).

Helping children—whether they’re your own or not—is one of the most powerful ways to achieve a deep sense of purpose, happiness, and meaning.